YOU-NIQUE

“See how you look”

“You are too skinny”

“You are sooo unattractive”

“You are really dark”….

These and more were the words of my classmates back in junior secondary school.

As young as I was, i already had to deal with all the mockery and taunts from my mates . They succeeded in messing with my self esteem.

I acted all normal and continued to ponder on the words being spoken.

Comparisons and worry took over my young mind as i digressed from focusing on algebraic expression to am I really ugly?

This continued and I sucked it all up to pretend to live a normal teenage life .

Fast forward to when I started putting up weight in the right places,I became overly conscious of my looks.

Guess I was impressed with what I saw in the mirror.

I became prouder of my black shiny skin that needed no much effort to maintain (lol yeah it was naturally gotten)…

And then , the enemies “junk food, late night meals” took me by the hand and said : “let us journey together”.

In the affirmative , I enjoyed the journey nibbling on any sweet food/junk i came across 😋😋.

I could wake up by 2am to cook a whole meal and munch like there was no tomorrow.

Soda became the order of the day as I could not resist a chilled bottle or even bottles of drink .

This continued for a while until another nightmare surfaced, “belly fat, flabby arms, love handles” and all other features of weight gain.

I had put on more weight , like really obvious weight .

And then as usual people began to talk ;

“ you are too fat”

“ what happened to you “

“ could this be you “

“you have really added” and blah blah blah…

I get I am fat but you don’t really have to tell me or greet me with all the fatty greeting.

I went back to my companions “worry and comparison”, my self esteem dropped .

Taking photographs became annoying and all I did was stare at the perfectly shaped models on the internet .

Google history for me contained “how to lose weight in seven days, how to get rid of flabby arms in one week and all the weight loss tips”… pssssshhh, it was depressing.

These and many more kept on happening until I decided to take a break and disconnect from all the talks….

Body Shaming is a norm and a skill people learn so well without having to go to school.

It has become a way of greeting as the first thing one says is “ you’ve gained weight, you’ve lost weight , you are too dark, you have lot of acne”bleh bleh bleh….

Yeah I am guilty of that too…But the truth is the earlier we realize how humiliating it is to the receiving party , the better.

We cannot expect a lactating mother to snap back to a size 10 she used to be. So telling her how much weight she has put on from childbirth is all shades of wrong..

Eventually I lost much weight, went from 91kg to 71kg and the next talk I got was ; “hmmm are you okay, were you sick , what happened to you”?

In shock I’m like , what do these world people want ???

There is no need to do things to please people .. Nah it cannot work.

Health is wealth we know. Make conscious effort to live heathy .

If you are not impressed with your shape or size , work on living healthy.

Avoid changing your skin colour because of people’s comments . Your skin colour is not an accident. Embrace healthier methods of having a clear skin.

Exercising should go beyond losing weight but maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Practice Self Love with all of you

Do you.

Live your life.

Keep doing whatever makes you happy.

Disconnect from bad energy..

Also Drink water and mind your business.

Happy New Month 🙂🙂🙂 and hope we are all good ?

Ps: take a break from social media if you feel disturbed.

Leave your comments and subscribe to my blog😁😁

26 thoughts on “YOU-NIQUE”

    • Great piece.
      From one of the world people that”body shamed” you!!!
      I hope I never forgot to also tell you how beautiful you were and still is and will always remain, till wrinkles come.

      From your namesake, Amaechi Victor.

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. Oh Wow! Vicky this is beautiful! I had my fair share of this growing up until I decided to really “do me”. I stay healthily chubby for myself 😍😍😍.
    Well done Gurl👍.

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  9. I love this…. I know how this can be cause I also was body shamed at some point in my life but I got to know I could never please anyone but myself and feeling great in my own skin is the best gift I can give me so I do what makes me happy and shut out body shaming cause it really sucks. Thanks Vickie

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  10. It’s great that you decided to do you despite your surroundings. It tells us that in this life, you must be deliberate!!! Thanks for sharing, for blossoming and for being my Vicky Mo 🤪.

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  12. Thanks for putting up an engaging and nice piece. A lot of people still go through body shaming but for how long will opinions of other people continue to take a lead in one’s life?

    Eat healthy, mind your business and every other person will adapt to your new lifestyle regardless of size and complexion.

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  14. This is great news Vickie, I was once there, hated myself for what I should appreciate. But, Thank God for New Mindsets…great indeed

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  15. Beautiful Piece

    I have a Friend who was Disturbed and Got Obsessed with Working out, just because someone made a comment about her Tummy

    Truth is, People will always talk, because they are Programmed to do so;
    Whether you’re Short, Tall, Fair, Dark, Skinny or Fat.

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  16. No better way to shame your insecurities than by speaking about them. That way you don’t only disempower them but also empower yourself in the process.

    I can only but imagine how back and forth all those comments got you going and how confusing it would have been. Thank God for growth and self love.

    Tbh, most people do this by going by the norms they’ve known and seen so it feels normal and in a way, bad if they don’t comment on it. This ideology needs to change. Part of it is also caused by our confusion of ascribing wealth to thick body and thinness to single ladies. A dilemma indeed.

    Keep educating us, so we’ll crawl out of this ignorance and many more like it that we’ve twisted in our mind as being “caring and attentive”.

    I love the flow of words, kudos to many more ahead.

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